I've had 3 miscarriages in 9 months and I don't know how to cope anymore.

I've had 3 miscarriages in 9 months and I don't know how to cope anymore. The first pregnancy, I was over the moon. My boyfriend and I got pregnant our second cycle trying, and I thought it was meant to be. I told a few people and started reading and watching all sorts of mom content on YouTube and read articles every single week I was pregnant that told me about the development of my baby. Two days before my 8 week ultrasound in March 2023, I noticed a small amount of blood and tried to ignore it since it was so little. At the ultrasound, we were told there was no heartbeat and I took the medicine to miscarry that very same day. The second pregnancy came in August of 2023. I was immediately anxious, but cautiously optimistic. I miscarried before the 5 week mark even hit. That's when I started feeling unbearable amounts of negative emotions like depression and anxiety. Then, only 2 months later in October I found out I was pregnant again. This time, I was so horribly wracked with anxiety about losing it I couldn't sleep or eat. Every symptom I was having made me think I was miscarrying until I went into the ER at 6 weeks because I just had to see my baby and make sure he/she was okay. And because I was having cramping. I found out my HCG levels were rapidly decreasing from a week prior and they couldn't find the pregnancy on the ultrasound. I was miscarrying again. I started to bleed a few days after that. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I am having mood swings so severe I can't function. I just stopped bleeding from the 3rd one 2 days ago. I'm so lost and confused and sad and anxious. I have never been in this much pain. I'm afraid I'll never recover from this or feel peace again.