My first pregnancy did end up being a miscarriage

My first pregnancy did end up being a miscarriage, but I wasn't too nervous about it. I knew they happened, but I just didn't think it would happen to me. And now we are on number three. So I am going to talk about my third miscarriage story. I had a pretty early miscarriage. I was almost 5 weeks pregnant, so it was still super early. It was earlier than my last one, but I knew it was coming. I found out I was pregnant a little over 3 weeks pregnant. I was super sick. I could not even think about food before I hit four weeks pregnant. I was just so sick. I was super, super nauseous. I just wanted to be snuggling and sleeping all day. I knew I was pregnant. I got some positive pregnancy tests. They were pretty light at the beginning, but I did not worry at all because I knew that I had tested pretty early and that you didn’t get a super dark line that early. So I took a test on a Tuesday. We got my positive. Technically, I took it on a Monday night. That was super, super light. Then Tuesday was when I got my first sure positive. I took 3 or 4 more that day. They were all light positives. I told my husband, and we were just so excited. Because I had miscarriages in the past, I decided that I wanted to not be worried that a miscarriage would come, but just to be excited and happy about this pregnancy, whether I got a week or a whole nine months and beyond. I thought things were going well because I was so sick. I was super excited. I told my parents, and I started doing initial planning. I didn't want to plan too much because of miscarriages in the past. But a few days later, I went from being just so, so sick to feeling back to kind of my normal self, which still involves nausea and fatigue because I live with chronic illness. So I still was a little nauseous and stuff, but I could just tell it was different. I just didn’t feel pregnant, if you know what I mean. So this had been a few days, and then Saturday came, and the same thing. I just didn’t feel pregnant anymore, but I had no bleeding up to this point. And that is the big sign that you are miscarrying if there is bleeding. That’s the sign you want to call your doctor immediately. But Friday, I didn’t think much of it, but I did take another pregnancy test just to be sure that the line was getting darker, and it was about the same as on Tuesday. So I did start to get worried there, but I didn’t even call my doctor. I wish I would have, but I didn’t call them on Friday because I just thought I wanted to not worry about it. And Saturday came, and the same thing. Just didn’t feel pregnant, and then on Sunday I thought I should test again, and this time that line was even lighter. I still hadn’t had any bleeding, but I was having a little cramping, and that line was so light that I just knew that I had lost this baby. So I bawled my eyes out all day Sunday. I was just really, really sad. I knew that it was coming to an end, and I got to the point where I just wanted it to be over. I just kept praying that Heavenly Father would not make me suffer the unknown much longer, because of course there was that tiny part of me that still hung on to the hope that maybe I got a bad batch of tests, maybe there was some miracle out there that's going to save this baby. I couldn't get rid of that tiny hope that I had, that this pregnancy might work out. And so I just wanted, if it was gonna end, just let it be done. Unfortunately, I went through all Sunday, and I still had no bleeding. So I did try a different brand of test. My friend brought me one that day, and it was still super light, so it was not promising, I didn’t feel pregnant that time, but I just decided to keep a little bit of hope. So Monday came, and I went throughout the day just kind of knowing it was not that much hope, but I did call my doctor that day. I couldn’t call on Sunday or Saturday because they weren’t in the office. So I called on Monday, and they did an hCG test, and it came back as only thirteen, which is bad for having gotten a positive the week before. It should be doubling every couple of days, which would mean I would have started at like one, and that would not make sense because pregnancy tests at home just don’t give you a positive until, I think, at least it's over ten or so. So that was not promising. But I still had no bleeding, and so they said, "We'll test you again in a couple of days." And I was still just waiting and waiting for it to happen. I had already just bawled my eyes out. I wasn't emotional about it anymore because I knew it was gonna happen, and that night, I finally had a little bit of bleeding. It was very light, and it ended up stopping throughout the night. So I bled a little bit Monday night, nothing all night, and then I woke up the next day with nothing. So I still knew that first bleeding was not a good sign, but there was still that tiny bit of hope that everything would be okay. Unfortunately, once I got up and moved throughout the day, now it was Tuesday. That's when it all came, and it was super painful. I have endometriosis and PCOS, so it causes my periods and also my miscarriages to be extremely painful. So we just wanted to make sure there was no ectopic or anything scary like that. So we did end up going to the doctor, and he checked me and said it was probably endometriosis, and then I also had a UTI, so it's a mix of both of those, which is why I was in so much pain. But I was also just bleeding so much, and it was awful. But I am still holding onto the hope that our miracle rainbow baby will happen again. We do have one miracle rainbow, and I'm sure that God has a plan for us and that we are gonna get through this, and we're gonna be okay. I'm not sharing this story with you to scare you, but I do want to spread awareness of it and to help anyone who is also suffering a miscarriage know that I have also experienced what you're experiencing. I am building an archive of Miscarriage Stories, kindly check it out at https://mamoosia.com/miscarriage-stories/