After seven years of trying, it felt like a dream come true...

Before I got married on May 20, and just over a week later, on May 31, I found out I was pregnant. After seven years of trying, it felt like a dream come true. I was so excited and hopeful for the future. At first, I didn't tell anyone. I wanted to keep it to myself for a little while before sharing the news. Eventually, around seven weeks, we told my family and my husband's family, and everyone was excited for us. As soon as we found out, we started planning for our baby's arrival. We talked about everything we would need and what our future would look like as parents. I even attended a community baby shower where I received a crib, a bassinet, and some baby clothes. Every little item made everything feel more real, and I was so excited to become a mom. During We never expected that we were miscarrying because I never had any bleeding or warning signs. It was a missed miscarriage. We went to our eight-week appointment excited to see our baby. During the ultrasound, I could tell by the technician's face that something was wrong before anyone even said anything. When the doctor came in, they told us they were sorry and explained that the pregnancy was no longer viable. They briefly went over my options for passing the pregnancy and explained the next steps. That was all. The appointment felt cold and empty. I left feeling shocked, heartbroken, and completely unprepared for what was about to happen. I wasn't given any information about emotional support, support groups, remembrance services, or grief resources. I felt like I was sent home to figure out one of the hardest experiences of my life on my own. After After deciding to take the medication to pass the pregnancy, I experienced the worst physical pain I have ever felt. The contractions were unbearable, and I wasn't prepared for how intense they would be. Even though my husband was there with me and wanted to help, I was in so much pain that I didn't even want to be touched. Emotionally, I felt completely alone. My mom sent me a text message, but she never came over or called to check on me. I went through one of the hardest moments of my life feeling like I had to carry the pain by myself. In the weeks that followed, I tried going to therapy, hoping it would help, but at the time nothing seemed to ease the grief. I questioned everything. I couldn't understand why this had happened after waiting seven years to finally become pregnant. Today, I still feel deeply sad. I miss being pregnant every single day. I often feel alone, and the miscarriage has affected every part of my life. It feels like the future I had imagined disappeared overnight. All of the plans I had for my daughter were suddenly gone, and I've struggled to figure out where to go from here. Right now, I'm not working. Many days I just lie in bed holding the weighted bear that was supposed to be for my daughter. It reminds me of everything I dreamed about and everything I lost. Sometimes it feels like I'm just existing instead of living. I want to believe that healing is possible, but right now it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. My hope in joining this support group is to be around people who truly understand this kind of loss and to feel seen, understood, and supported as I continue to grieve.